I gathered the sunscreen, towel, chair, my favorite book and headed for the hot sand. I had been warned about walking onto the beach barefoot, but decided against the yellow flip-flops that I’d arrived with.  I didn’t think that these particular shoes would convey the image of a “cool chick” out for a day in the sun.  How could I expect others to see me as someone in the know, when I didn’t even see me that way?  This was one of those first time things that sort of takes on a life of its’ own.  There doesn’t seem to be a lot that you can do with it, except to give in to it.

     Only seven days ago, I found myself lodged at a table with a call list of 100 names spread out before me.  This would be my task for the next several hours.  To contact these strangers and try to persuade them to pledge a certain amount of money for my worthy cause.  Persuasion was one of my strongest tools.  That’s how I had survived for the last five years.

     Since my high school graduation I had worked several rinky-dink jobs in order to survive.  I worked as a waitress, at a little diner in my home town.  That didn’t last long.  It wasn’t much of a challenge for me, or that is what I told myself at the time.  I was well liked there and had met a couple of nice guys during my short employment.  Of course I was still partying with my old crowd of cronies from high school and that wasn’t exactly what the doctor ordered for a working person. Mornings came way too early in those days.  Drinking all night, for several nights a week, soon took a toll on my health and my looks.  I had to get out of this town.  That is the only way I could change my behavior.

     I contacted some relatives and they pooled enough money to buy a ticket to Boston, Massachusettes.  Why Boston?  I’m not really sure, except that I knew there were men and money in Boston. Two of the things that I liked the most. The train ride up there was long and noisy.  There were different groups of people who made their way on and off the train, while I drifted in and out of a restless sleep.  I wondered where they were all headed to.  Were they running to or away from something?  Were they trying to find or lose themselves?  Next, I asked the same question of myself.  I had no answer.  I was merely in transit.  Going somewhere else.  To try something else.  No specific directions were given to me.  I had to figure this one out for myself.

     Soon, I found myself  floating alongside a beautiful stream.  I wasn’t traveling on the bus anymore.  It felt more like riding on a feather, no more there than a summer breeze.  I looked for the ground, for a place to anchor myself.  A place to try and make sense of this array of happenings.  At home, angry and alone, desperate move, train ride to Boston, and now here, wherever this is.

Little more than a bare naked stick

the long branches of the mighty oak
seem to crawl across the sky

searching for the warmth of the Sun

and Mother Earth

 the feathery green hue that bathes him now

 will soon blossom  into a sea of green dancers

swaying together

in a soft summer tune

 that touches me so gently on my  face

 that my  hair barely moves

while I sleep beneath him

after many days of coming here on sore bare feet

I feel like I know this tree

and whats more,  I think the tree knows me.

                                                    any child

Johnny wakes to the sound of a Spring robin’s song,

     alerting him to a new day, or is it?

The word ‘new’ has meanings that may not apply,

     to this little fellow, with the beaten brow and the empty face.

Following the morning song comes the dread of wakefulness,

     rapid heartbeats and stomach quakes.

 Wide-open eyes scout the room for others who share

     this space, time and same fate.

 What is it that waits on the other side of that door?

     Cold floors, empty cabinets and no milk again?

His heart sinks even lower again, more than before

     when he hid with the others to avoid the sight

Of loved ones imprisoned, possessed by invisible demons

     that dance behind their eyes.

How can one so small, trying to stand so tall,

     walk in these shoes for just one more day?

In the distance he hears the sound of the big yellow bus,

    he takes a deep breath and rushes for coats and shoes.

Struggling to place each one on the head where it belongs,

    we rush to the platform that will take us away–

              for one more day.

 What technology skills did I learn today?  What useful ideas and techniques did you encounter or practice?  Today I was able to replicate the process learned during Ian’s last visit.  I was able to use the Power Point format to make up an activity for any class of students.  It will be like having a classroom discussion, except that the questions/comments will be up there in large print, coming at them with some intensity and focus.  Many of our students fail to do well in academics because they lack the ability to focus on the task at hand.  With the help of the Power Point tool, they will be more able to concentrate and channel their thoughts on this particular task. Ian also demonstrated how to create time intervals between the slides, so that time for discussion and/or response could be built into the lesson. I also became more proficient at copy and paste and putting attachments onto my e-mails. 

 We also discussed how the regular use of these techniques on the computer would allow me to retain this knowledge better. Ian suggested that I set aside at least one time period during the week to practice and expand upon what we have worked on during our sessions. I can also see how the students could use a power point presentation to do a book report or story summary.  Not only will they feel responsible for the contents of the text, but will also be able to practice and perfect a technology skill.  Actually, this format could be used for many assignments where summation, discussion and presentation skills are needed.

If, or when I am ever asked to share some important information with other staff members, the power point will also be an important tool for me.  It will enhance the presentation of the information that I wish to convey to my colleagues.  As I mentioned earlier, this process will also help the presenter gather and select which information to present, as well as the best sequence to use for presentation.  This information can be stored as power point and can be edited to include new information.  This type of tool can also be used by more than one participant.  Due to the nature of the design, two or more people can research and report information on the same subject and present it together, on one power point presentation. This could  be seen as a lesson in technology and literacy skills.  It will also provide a lesson in collaboration, which may be the more important lesson to learn.

I would like to take this opportunity to thank you Ian.  Thank you for traveling the distance to meet with me.  Thank you for being patient with me and for creating a very encouraging, learning environment.

Go ye from me, you dark and dreary spirit of a man

Slither back into the slimy bog from whince you came.

It is for no concern of mine that you stand.

Tall and stout on that marred leg that makes you lame.

Beckoning all that might succumb to your seduction

Be they young, old, entranced or just afraid.

Mingling with you or yours brings destruction

Where you must then lie in the bed you’ve made.

None will want you, of wounded spirit and broken mind

Gouging into lives, with them having your way

Never going too far for your victim to find,

Uncaring and relentless your image will stay.

In the forefront of minds not yet aware

Of the force and guile your presence betrays.

Flee from me, you sordid excuse for essence

For mine is not the heart for sacrifice.

Wander amidst the dragons slain

By hearts of purity and price.

Neglect the stopping by for care

Of things no longer mentioned.

No kindness or memory of you

Will ever hinder my intentions.

I am now and forever will be

The dreams my youth have brought.

Constant, promising, renewed visions

That will sustain the power of thought.

A power greater than life itself

Will keep me moving, thinking

Escaping that place for me on the shelf.

Gray skies everywhere

     are choking the light from my heart

Washed by the dismal threads

     I wander in search of some light

Something to allow me to turn

    the seductive hand of fate

Running now, from the dragons of time

     clipped by reminders of days gone by

Flailing to escape destruction

    of the purest kind

My weighted body falls forward

    lapping at the wind

The windows turning into

    a blurry, dark path

I have often wondered why the wounded

    bird gives up and falls to the ground

And now I know.

What new technology skills did I learn from my recent time spent with Ian? As you know, almost anytime I get to be involved with technology I get exposed to something that I don’t really know how to do.  Today our goal was for me to develop a power point presentation from my SI demo information.  Of course it was necessary for me to sort of summarize the information from each section of the presentation. This is the information that I placed on the different slides that make up the power point presentation. This is the same information that I had put on index cards this summer before I did the presentation.

I wasn’t even sure how to get to the program that would allow me to create the slides. All of this was new to me.  After Ian walking me through a few of them I was able to replicate the process and add enough slides to cover the information involved. Another important thing that I learned, was the difference between closing down an application and closing down a program. Before, I just always went to “File” and scrolled down to “Exit” and I was out, not realizing that there were two separate entities involved. It’s the same when I am surfing the internet. I just close everything down, rather than just getting out of whatever screen I am on.  Knowing this will save me some, often precious, time.

I might add that I have a bit more confidence, with regard to creating and using the power point method for aiding in the distribution of information.

This new information skill will allow me to teach it to my students. To let them see the wonder of their own thoughts and words up there on the screen.  Most of my work with students is centered around reading/reading skills.  Summarizing is a reading skill and is one that is difficult for many students to learn.  In preparing a power point presentation the summarizing skills are very important.  This technique could also help students present a book report/review, using the slides as prompts for each part of the story structure.

I’m afraid that being a ”teacher of teachers” has been one of those things that I have never been asked to do.  Of course having a power point enhances any presentation.  I believe it will also help the presenter do a better job of recalling and developing information. Most professionals are in tune with technology and would surely enjoy learning with the help of technology.

And once again I am overtaken by the strength of relationships that have been borne out of the Writing Project time.  I consider myself lucky to have a few friends, like Ian, who will go that extra mile to help a friend.  Yes, I know that he will be compensated, but it’s a long way down here and most people from the “metro area” avoid making the trip.

A teacher is made up of many parts. These parts don’t arrive on the same day, so it is necessary to keep checking to see if the latest part has arrived and is in the right space.  A teacher comes to the classroom with a lot of the parts that she will need. Some of these parts are passed down from teachers that have gone from her own learning stream. Others have been added once she made the decision to become a teacher.

A choice of colleges must be made.  Of course it has to fit the criteria that she has designed.  It must be economical, located near her place of residence and it must have the kind of staff that will meet her where she is at this time. That is one of the Best Practices, right? Can there be such a place?

Graduated now and working in her local school district, she is often frustrated and a little sad. Where are the thoughtful staff from the college, when she needs them the most?  If only there had been college friends to turn to in this time.  Being a commuter, she was always short of time. No time for anything that wasn’t a necessity.

One day there was a flyer posted on the bulletin board, right next to the sign-in sheet.  They wanted teachers to come into the college and “write.”  Just write, she couldn’t believe it. A group of teachers gathering and discussing things that matter.  Wouldn’t that be just wonderful!  And not just talking, but writing about it too.  This was definitely somewhere that she wanted to be.

This writing extravaganza would take up her summer.  The time that she waits to do everything that she doesn’t get to during the school year. That’s a lot to sacrifice. Time with the children and grandchildren would have to be held to a minimum.  That new fall wardrobe would have to wait.  Many things would have to wait.

Here she is, at the first meeting of the class.  She feels a little ajar.  Everyone seems to be nice enough and some even “user-friendly.”  Where would her place be, among these young, intelligent thinkers of tomorrow?  She has made her mind up to stay and make a place among these teachers of tomorrow.

The group quickly becomes something that you want to savour and hold onto.  Each member cloaked in the garb of honesty and beauty.  Under there are real people.  People you can call in the middle of the night for a favor.  People you want to share the deepest, hidden thoughts with.  How can this be so, in such a short period of time? They have guided and nurtured her writing attempts. They have confided in her, making her feel proud to be of help. These were her colleagues.  Her co-conspirators, who act out of frank honesty to help her become more of the writer that she can be.

The summer passed by with a wisp of sadness.  Sad, because she had never known a relationship such as this. It wasn’t just a class.  It was a “whole-being” experience.  One, whose only mirror is reality.  She hopes that she can hold onto these magicians, with their slender stylus creating ripples wherever they go.

Her students have fallen in love with her again.  She allows them to stretch their imaginations and reflect on the world.  And she shows them how to use writing as a tool of discovery.  Wow!  All that in just one summer?

They both tend to have a similar effect on my person, children and storms.  They both move me deeply, and give me cause for great concern or joy. The old and familiar is there but round the next turn, some event of significant magnitude can rare its ugly head. Both are deep and dark at times, with rainbows and sunshine just on the other side.

How can anyone turn their head away from such an entity?  We want depth and mystery in our own lives, don’t we?  If we work with these wonders some of their gifts may be transferred to us.  Learning from the children and the storm, isn’t that a fancy idea?

Oh my goodness!  I never thought the days would be so filled up. Yes, I know the days are supposed to be filled, but to the point that you can’t even go potty?  In previous years, as a Title I Reading Teacher, I stayed in the two first and then third grade classrooms, the entire morning.  At 11:00 I left the classroom and went to the cafeteria, for an hour of duty.  The half hour that comes after that just flies by.  If there happens to be an altercation on the playground, then my half hour lunch becomes a 15 minute break.  My mornings still follow this schedule.

This year we are implementing the Three-Tier Reading Program, better known as RTI.  I don’t know how many of you are familiar with this one, but it works a lot like a Special Education program (including the paperwork).  Paperwork and record keeping is a nightmare for me, as some of you probably already know.  I understand why there is the need for so much paperwork, but I certainly don’t see me becoming a pro at it.  I like being able to work closely with four or five students at a time, but not in what amounts to a “cubicle” of a room.  Too much “stuff” in too little of a room.

I agree with the foundations of the program.  Screen for them, group them, instruct them, teach them, and evaluate for the next step of instruction.  I don’t know if I am trained well enough to do this adequately.  Oh yeah, and I am still the Student Assistance Team (SAT) leader, too.  This job requires a lot of time and focus.  Nowdays, I feel like a raggedy shirt-tail blowing in the wind.  It seems like I am constantly in one place, feeling like I should be somewhere else.

I’m sure that this sounds like the woes of many teachers in the field.  When you are a Title teacher, many of the classroom teachers think that you are supposed to be their aide.  I don’t have any trouble with the idea of being an aide to the teacher in the classroom, but the principal is my boss, just as He/She is to them.  Strife really takes a toll on me, so I try not to create any of it. 

I love the feeling of knowing that I have helped a teacher, or a child, just as I love learning in itself.  I believe that God put us here together, so that we could be of service to one another, to have good commerce with the world.  I think THAT is what’s the matter with so many of us today.  We have trouble mingling with the world in a positive way.  Most of us know good from bad, but do the bad anyhow.  Maybe if we make good commerce with the world a priority, we could lead lives of contentment.  Sounds too simple for a solution to our desperate problems of today, doesn’t it?  I know that it will improve lives, if not cure them.

Back to my limited time during the school day.  I guess I will praddle along and become a better Interventionist.  Think of me when you pray.  Pray that I will be able to deliver what these children need.  I hope that your year is going well and that you are having “good commerce with the world”.